“You aughta summon up all the courage in your hort, swallow your pride, and get back to it before you’re dead and can’t sidekick no more,” Sheriff Rodney Ricketts sets Marty straight.
In the last Telethon episode, the terrible Dr. Hornet infected the whole world with Tiny Tim’s Disease and Marty Fleming ran away, never to return again. And things have only gotten worse. The deadly Dickensian Flu is about to enter its most deadly stage, and if Sal Stevens can’t raise enough bucks to find a cure, The Telethon, and the world as we know it, will be destroyed forever.
Sal finds that it’s hard to raise bucks without his trusty sidekick Marty, but he keeps on trying regardless. His failure brings the attention of The Auditor, who insists Sal find a sidekick to boost donations. A cure is imminent, The Auditor says, so long as enough bucks are raised. But a stubborn Sal insists he can do the show all by himself, no matter what.
Meanwhile, Marty Fleming has made his way to a place where he can forget all of his worries; The End of the Line Club. Here, time stands still, and there’s smoky lounge singing and Borscht Belt comedy, too. He is greeted by his old nickname, The Crewman, by his old friends, The Commish, The Admiral, The Brigadier, and Sarge. As he knocks back the drinks, it sure seems like he’s finally found a place to call home.
Back at the Telethon, things are getting much more dire. Sal hasn’t raised any bucks and is starting to lose his mind. He hallucinates and sees The Grumbo, an awful puppet monster who encourages Sal’s worst behavior. With The Grumbo’s help, he becomes convinced that, even though the world is ending, that he deserves to host the show alone. Things are equally weirdo at The End of the Line, where Marty finds himself the object of affection by the entire cast. Why can’t things just work out normal for these two!!!
Alas, sweet salvation is near. At the Telethon, Sal is visited by his old mentor, late night talk show host Crispin Whipley. With the help of Crispin’s sardonic wit, Sal realizes that he does truly need Marty. Concurrently, Marty is visited by the cowboy ghost of Sheriff Rodney Ricketts who imparts some otherworldy wisdom: do what you love while you’re still alive. And Marty loves sidekicking the Telethon.
And so, Sal and Marty reunite to Electric Light Orchestra’s Telephone Line. While touching, the moment doesn’t raise enough bucks to cure Tiny Tim’s. A gloating Dr. Hornet nearly wins the day, until he foolishly allows himself to gets splashed all over with icky gross Fish Chum by all of the fabulous guest stars. Seeing the supervillain covered in his least favorite thing speeds up donations, and within moments the fundraising goal is met. At last, a cure for Tiny Tim’s Disease! The world is saved!
And then The Auditor cryptically mentions something called Project H.A.Y.B.A.L.E., but whatever, it’s the end of the show.
In this episode
- We find out that without Marty, Sal can’t host, and without Sal, Marty is a red-hot love magnet.
- Sal reveals to the audience but we never quite see his famed spoon playing abilities
- The Auditor gets a makeover, and runs off ashamed
- Dr. Hornet gets to feel what it’s like to have everything he’s ever wanted, and then he gets to find out what it’s like to have it all torn away.
- The mysterious introduction of “Project H.A.Y.B.A.L.E.”
Telethon Show Song Lyrics (to and partially cribbed from Telephone Line by ELO)
SAL
Hello. How are you?
Have you been alright, through all those lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely nights
That’s what I’d say. I’d tell him everything
If he’d side kick the Telethon yeah yeah yeah
MARTY
Hey. How you feelin?
Are you still the same?
Don’t you realize the things we did, we did, were all for real, not a dream?
BOTH
I just can’t believe
They’re all faded out of view yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
WORMHOLE
I look into the sky, the love you need ain’t gonna see you through
HORNET
And I wonder why the little things you planned ain’t coming true
ALL
Oh oh Telethon show, give us some bucks, we’re out of time
Oh oh Telethon show, we’re out of luck, we’re gonna die
CAST
Benjamin Vigeant as Sal Stevens
Greg Guiliano as Marty Fleming
Sean Rose as Dr. Hornet/ The Comish
Stephen Winchell as the Wizard Dumblebee/ The Admiral
Jamie Campbell as Hank Hanks
WITH
Buck LePard as The Auditor
Gwynn Fulcher as The Brigadier
Noah Ginex as The Grumbo
Chad Briggs as Crispin Whipley/ Rodney Ricketts
PHOTOS
Photos by Amy Rose Capetta
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