ACTING: THE BOOK
by
Sal
S.
Stevens
…
This Book is dedicated to the memory of my father, who loved me harder than I could appreciate at the time.
INTRODUCTION
Hello, I am Sal Stevens, popularly known from comedy television and game shows. At least I was, until director Harold H. Wadsworth discovered me. He so wisely placed me in a serious role as the father of a suicidal teen in “Why Was Terry Crying?”, the cult hit which is currently available on DVD and VHS tape (Don’t rent it, buy it! You’re going to want to have it ready for reference throughout this lengthy book). It was a bold movie and casting me was a bold move. Sal Stevens? Isn’t he known for making America laugh? He can’t make America cry! He’s damned to be a beloved comedian forever. Or so it seemed! Wadsworth knew, as I have always known, that deep in my heart I have the soul of a true Actor.
You are probably wondering why I hid my Acting abilities for so long. I use a brilliant metaphor in the classes I teach in New York City every Wednesday nights at the Adult Learning Annex (and since you own this book, you already qualify for a 10% discount!). Paul McCartney of “The Beatles” is a talented guitar player, singer, and writer. However, in the well-known song “Back To The USSR” he played the drums. Who knew that he could play the drums? It’s just like that.
Now that I am no longer in the Acting closet, I want to share all of the glorious discoveries I’ve made. But before I do, enjoy more of my own personal journey. When I played Terry’s father, I had to think about my father. My father was an athlete and a businessman. I couldn’t ask him questions about those things, but I could imitate him well enough. You see, he thankfully had an untimely death before those media hounds could find him and ask what he thought of my many sundried accomplishments. If you purchased the “Deluxe” version of this book, the bonus CD has a recording of me listing my greatest successes (personal and professional), and I’m sure he’d be very proud of me.
My father was someone who always supported me in my many pursuits. I still have dreams about him! Ten minutes into sleep I’ll wake up drenched in sweat, my left hand still tingling from those particularly strong hugs he gave me. He never laid a hand on me when I didn’t deserve it. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to use any of that when I played Terry’s physically and mentally abusive father. I just made it all up! Making stuff up is another tool you can have in your Actor’s toolbox, right next to your personal traumas, and bottle of Goldschlager.
What would you call such an advanced method of performance? It is called the Sal S’Method (of) Acting. Each chapter of this book will take you deeper into the S’Method – which I have shortened into this easy to remember acronym PRAOCRPSL(LAC): Pretending, Re-tending, Acting, Opening, Closing, Reopening, Playing Fathers, Scary Fathers, and Limited Engagement Class Dates in LA (Los Angeles, California). When you complete this book, you too could be in Hollywood’s greatest films. Unfortunately, if you’re female you probably won’t get much out of this book since I don’t get women. There are also no refunds for this book.
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